Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan

Psychotherapy is broadly concerned with secrets. Often our clients bring us things which they have never told anyone, subjects they have felt unable to broach. What happens in the relationship when a secret is uncovered? In this article, I discuss how one's secrets finally being uncovered can invoke shame. However, the shame of being seen in a new way can also create an opening that allows for a deeper intersubjective experience to unfold. Using Sartre's concept of the gaze of the other alongside Merleau-Ponty's ideas of dehiscence, visibility/invisibility and intertwining, I explore the meaning of secrecy, guilt and shame for both therapist and client within the therapeutic relationship.

Heidegger spoke about the Uncanny or 'Unheimlich,' a nouned adjective which can be translated into English as 'unhomely.' But what is a home? For many it is a house, for others perhaps a family or community. Pondering whether the body might be considered our most basic home, I examine what happens when that home itself becomes uncanny, for example through disability. Taking into account my experiences as a gay disabled Romani person, I speak about what it feels like to be seen as uncanny in the eyes of mainstream society and how many people's uncomfortableness with facing up to their own mortality is visible not only through their reactions to people like me, but also to the COVID-19 pandemic.